Excerpt

CHAPTER ONE

One more step. All you have to do is take one more step.

It was a lie. This hallway alone seemed unending as I shuffled forward on bare feet, the chill of gleaming black tiles seeping through my skin with every step. I had no way of knowing how far I had left to go. I couldn't even tell if I was still in the medical wing. If I could feel so lost within the palace Annex, I couldn't imagine trying to wander through the palace itself. But one step seemed doable when everything else felt insurmountable, so lie or not, I kept repeating it: one more step.

I had to get away before anyone realized I was gone. I couldn't stand to go back to that stifling recovery room. They'd promised I would be released from medical last week. I refused to wait for permission anymore.

My legs swayed as pain flared in my head. Squinting against the harsh overhead light, I reached to brace myself against the wall as I pushed forward. I was tired of the limitations of my body and refused to let them hold me back anymore. But as I stumbled into the wall on my next step, I knew I wouldn't make it to my room. I didn't even know where it was. Its location was blank, like every other important memory I should have had, but didn't. Nineteen years old, and all I could remember was the past three months.

I gasped against another stab of pain. My knees buckled, and I slid down the wall, gripping my head through thick brown hair, though it would do nothing for the pain. As my fingers glanced across the shaved strip I kept covered, they brushed over the raised scar hidden there. I winced, unwilling to dwell on it or the circumstances that had made the surgery necessary. Not that I knew much about it anyway.

Pills. I had to take my pills.

My hands shook as I blindly searched my pockets. When I came up empty, I groaned, dropping my head back against the wall. Had I left them behind? Dropped them along the way? This had to be the most disastrous escape attempt in Anluan's history.

A heavy sigh rang in my ears, followed by the familiar clink of pills against glass. "Looking for these?"

I squinted my eyes open, defeated.

My best friend stood before me as I'd expected her to—pill bottle in hand, brow arched, her angled bob barely brushing the shoulders of her red dress as she stared down at me with an unimpressed frown. Only the soft waves in her black hair surprised me. She usually wore it straight. I assumed I had the styling change to thank for my chance to escape. It must have been why she'd been late for her regular visit.

Rather than speak, I held out a trembling hand. Emila immediately dropped a pill into my palm. I grimaced and swallowed it dry.

"Thanks," I said as I slumped into the wall and waited for the medicine to bring relief. I closed my eyes, having no desire to watch Emila take in how awful I looked. I hadn't bothered to braid my hair back, let alone brush it, and I always seemed to wake with sunken eyes on the mornings I struggled to remember my dreams. Add in the sheen of sweat covering my skin thanks to this latest episode and I was sure Emila would be ready to bundle me back into bed at the first opportunity.

"You should've waited, Khara," she chided, carefully settling in front of me on her knees before tucking her hair behind her ear. "Doctor Jensen was going to release you today."

"She said she would last week and the week before that." I blinked back tears. Pain still lanced through my head ... or maybe these were tears born of frustration. It was hard to tell anymore. "I can't stay in medical anymore. Not one more day. It's been three months. I've recovered enough. I just want to go to my room. Please."

Emila stared into my eyes, observing me in her quiet way. They all looked at me like this—too long to be polite, always searching my face for something I couldn't offer. I wasn't sure they'd ever find what they were looking for. With most of my memories lost since the attack, I couldn't give myself what I needed, let alone anyone else.

"I'll take you to your room." My heart leapt, but before my smile could fully form, she held up a hand. "But I'm calling Doctor Jensen there to look you over." "Emila!" I groaned, covering my face. The only thing I wanted less than that was

to return to the medical wing. "She'll already know you're not where you should be. You just left! Did you think

no one would notice?" I shrugged, folding my arms. "I wasn't focused on that part." I'd just wanted out. Emila scoffed. "You mean you didn't think. Because if you had, you would've

called me to help you break out of there. I would have at least brought you some shoes!" She met my wide eyes with a smirk. "That's what friends are for. Besides, I'm sick of spending all my time there too."

She sniffed. "It smells terrible." I laughed, warmth filling my chest. It faded fast. "I didn't want to bother anyone." "Or maybe," she argued, "you're tired of needing help all the time, so you didn't

reach out to any of the people you know would drop everything for you." I shifted uncomfortably. She wasn't wrong. My skin itched with the need to take

care of myself. How could I do that if no one ever left me alone long enough to try? "Am I that transparent?"

"I just know you."

The words stung. I didn't know myself, let alone her, no matter how desperately I tried. All I had to go on was what I'd learned while stuck in my recovery room.

"It's okay to need help, Khara. All we want to do is help."

I breathed out slowly, not hiding the way my breath and body shook. Throat too tight to speak, I nodded. Emila relaxed, patting my leg. I hadn't realized she'd been so tense.

She stood, offering me her hand. "Then let's get you to your room."

I let her pull me to my feet and steady me as I swayed, blinking back the dizziness. She remained steadfast against my side, an unmovable wall of support holding me upright. Despite standing a few inches taller than her, I sank my weight into her warmth.

"You were going the wrong way, you know." Amusement lined her words. "As in, you were heading in the completely opposite direction."

I huffed a laugh. "Maybe I was taking the scenic route so I could see more of the Annex than the medical wing."

Emila's eyes flicked down the hall. I followed her gaze. The only thing I could see was a dark wooden door, a single camera glowing a soft green above it. Everything seemed quiet here, outside of us.

Her voice went as tight as her smile as she turned back to me. "Trust me. There's nothing scenic down there."